Spotlight Un-Happenings: Nothing Good Here Edition...

It seems the Spotlight is having a karaoke contest on July 7th that involves a cash prize. I'm tempted to go, but this might actually bring out some talented singers. What's the point of going to karaoke if you can't crack jokes on the horrid singers? And speaking or Roger...

I hate eavesdropping. I could only barely hear this gossip about Roger that sounded really scandalous. Normally I wouldn't revel in anyone's misery, but seeing as how him and his partner-in-drunken-bar-passing-outness Ron tried to turn me into a pariah, I will revel. And speaking of Drunk Ron...

Was he really trying to speak last night? Really? On a Ron side note, how come he looks drunk even when he's not drunk?

And since I'm being really evil today (hangover induced evilness), did Pooh's dog get a poodle cut or is that just mange? It looked like mange.

När får jag titta på Marcus Patrick onanerar?

My pants today emphasize a decided ass-lacking...

WE NOW RETURN YOU TO REGULAR NON-EVIL PROGRAMMING...

Random Thought...

I feel oddly disconnected from this whole DADT/DOMA stuff. Ever since those Prop 8 rallies back in November turned into Klan rallies, I can't separate genuine criticism and concern over Obama's actions in regards to those policies from hateful racists.

This has taken all the air out of my civil rights protections balloon and landed me in a "Meh, they'll fix it when the fix it" state of mind.

There Were Boots...

Varying levels of background editing-out which I will blame on a tired back. Too much hunching over the computer today.

So this is the psuedo-military look and in his head he's all thinking that he's on a Dirk Yates set as a fluffer...

Spotted...

...in Paper Magazine this month, this bit of fantasmic glam all up in my eye...

Bebe Zahara Benet
wearing: Designs by Hotroz (which I can't seem to find online...typo?)
makeup: M.A.C

Photo by Richard Phibbs

Discarded Items: Foot Fungus Edition...

Spotted in front of work this morning, these espadrille/gladiator-esque sandals, which actually looked in pretty good shape. Not sure why they were thrown out.

Personally, I'd never put my neglected feet in anything near sandal-ish. That would require more foot care than I am used to engaging in, seeing as how my feet are usually encased in Doc Martens (my brogans) or boots...

The Flaky Bunch...

Jesus heads and various other entities...

And In A Dark, Scary Corner Of The Parking Garage...

My level of rat terror is so insane that the rat traps give me the heebee jeebees. I just knew something was gonna come scurrying out of this fucker and cause my immediate heart failure-related demise.

Discarded Items: Begging For A Backstory Edition

"This is why you can't have nice things!"

"Do you know how hard I have to work to buy you this shit, just for you to go and treat it like crap?!"

"Go to your room and think about what you did!"

The DTV Era: Converter Box Drama

So yesterday, the converter box on the TV just inexplicably stopped working. No menu, no channels, nothing, not even the power button worked! So I looked online for info about the box and they say if you unplug then plug it back in the outlet, it sometimes resets.

So I did this and the power button started working again, but nothing else.

I decided to leave it unplugged overnight and see what would happen in the morning. Morning comes and it's still just a dust magnet sitting on top of the TV.

Finally I decide to call customer service and see what's going on, foreseeing having to return it for repairs and knowing that my warranty is expired by about a month. We go through several attempts at fixing it but nothing works. The (shockingly nice and helpful) customer service guy tells me to call back with my proof of purchase and they'll give me a return authorization or something or other...

So I'm going through my credit cards receipts and I can't find this one. I have receipts from Domino's, Ponchik Factory (awesome breakfast), even money order receipts from sending my niece money on her birthday but this receipt is nowhere to be seen!!!

As I'm sitting there laughing in amazement at the Murphy's Law-ness of it all, the converter box suddenly starts working perfectly. Just like nothing ever happened at all! Head scratcher...

Bringing Up Baby

Spotted on the Bizarro Blog, this utter insanity which left me with tears in my eyes from cracking up, in particular the Waking Baby "Don't" by using an air horn...

Absurd-ish Drawing Of The Week...

As oblivious and self-absorbed as usual, The Wet Hen complained about her impromptu trip to Iran being interrupted by a parade of some sort...

HAAAA!!

This cracked me up...

Drunk Bitch...Or What-Evssssssssssss

I have decided that Ramsey is my new favorite persona...

Here we have me drunk and slovenly...if that is a word...slovenyl...slovelny...slovelenly...slovenley...

Unfaithful by Claude Peres...

I've been following Claude Peres and his journey to make his film Unfaithful, which he documents in his BLOG HERE. Here is the ultra sexy trailer:



He also offered his readers the opportunity and clips necessary to create their own trailers, which I thought was such a cool interactive blog feature. So far he's featured two submissions.

I think his blog is an example of what a really good blog should be, giving folks the chance to experience the thoughts and processes of a filmmaker and a glimpse at the details of movie-making, from concept to completion.

Plus the subject matter is really erotic, so of course there's that...

Wo sind all die Huren?

Ich habe nicht für Bier in zwei Wochen. Ich habe nicht um alle Huren. Ich habe Hure Rücknahmen. Ich muss auf den Spotlight an diesem Wochenende. Wenn diese Infektion Auge wird entfernt. Dies ist nur ein zufälliges Bild, das ich mag.

Ich bin zu nüchtern!

Is It Rodan? Oh. No, It's Just Kobe.

And as Kobe Bryant's ego settled over L.A. like a South Pole winter, the ground shook menacingly and slightly lesser egos were shaken out of their oblivious self-absorption and forced to make room. Angelyne's ego, on the other hand, said "Pssht! Nuts to that!" and took off for billboarded regions unknown...

**Disclaimer, as much as I bitch about Kobe, I am in awe of his talent and discipline, and I LOVE Angelyne TO DEATH. She's fantasmic.**

Alone Again GILBERT O'SULLIVAN

So I was watching an infomercial last weekend about a collection of 70's music and I heard this song and was like, "Wow, what a beautiful song."

I put it on one of my YouTube playlists and as I've been listening to it, it's like, damn this song is depressing!

The tragic beauty of "Alone Again (Naturally)" by Gilbert O'Sullivan...

LOOK AWAY!! это отвратительно

So here I am with the clueless pink eye that refuses to realize that it has overstayed its welcome and это не понимает, что я не могу носить мою косметику глаза или вставлять мои контактные линзы, таким образом мое время Бруска Центра внимания было серьезно затронуто отрицательным способом.

Discarded Items: OUCH! Edition...

While bending down on the sidewalk to take pictures of these, I forgot to be on the lookout for stray glass shards and nearly cut up my knee.

Blue Shards feat. Mystery Man

Spotlight 2006 Flashback...

So I'm rambling through some old photos today, and I come across these from the Spotlight taken in 2006. Not sure why I was using the disposable camera, probably during one of the numerous occasions that I had dropped my digital and it was out for repairs. Or maybe I didn't have it yet...my mind gets foggy **glug glug**

In order: Christian with Orb Head, Christian with Bell Pepper, A Mesh-Shirted Cristiano looking all sexy and Ms Thing at the table who I love but can never remember her name, Dude with the cum odor, Avery dancing with Bell Pepper cropped out, me and Avery.

Monday Fetish/Fashion Moment...

Here we have this photo of the always sexy Daniel Miagany (I love how he's grown out his hair) spotted on Tbilisi Gay Times.

I cannot express how badly I want those boots. I would lace them up with white shoe strings, if I could find white shoe strings that long. And I would purchase that long overdue shoe shine kit...

Creative Reading...

With the current copy of Try State Magazine and Mr Penguin...anxiously awaiting the next issue...

Previous Try State Posting

Today In "Bitch, Pleeze!" With Snaps To Angie Tempura

Dwight Howard: Somewhere, Shaq exhales and thinks, "My title is safe." Incredible rebounding but should 2 missed free throws be the lingering image from game 4?

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: Please enjoy this "win" in the election while you can because you're gonna be really sad when somebody "accidentally" drops a bomb on your house.

Kim "My Hairstyle Makes Me Look Taller" Jong Il: Keep on rattling that saber, bitch...we'll...we'll...hmmm.


And here we have the fantastic Angie Tempura herself, portrayed by Michaela Watkins on SNL:

Aye, Matey...

Being the only hostage taken, and with no women on board, Kirby knew he was in for a rough night...

No Energy Today...Plus, Spotted: In Vanity Fair

I can think of no other reason for my current lethargy than I must be on a sugar crash from all the junk food I consumed this weekend. It was EPIC. A bag of cookies, two 2liters of soda, and a couple of cherry PopTarts...I did manage to slip in a bit of pastrami, though, so it wasn't all bad.

Today's lunch break was spent finally finishing the June Vanity Fair. Several things stood out.

A really funny article by Craig Brown called "Breakfast With Barack Obama." It's kinda genius. I can't find a link to it, but here's an excerpt:
"...So it is with profound gratitude and great humility that I accept my breakfast cornflakes. Michelle asks, Do I want milk? And to that I say this. Our milk will come. Our milk will flow, and it will flow true. Our milk will flow smooth, and it will flow well chilled. But our milk will not flow if it is not poured..."

A shockingly interesting article about Jessica Simpson.

A Polo Blue scent insert, which...j'adore...I rubbed it all over myself...

And a gorgeous shot by Bruce Weber of Count Gian Luca Passi de Preposulo. Check that mane!

Paging Marcus Patrick And Casper Van Dien...

The Shady Lady Ranch (!!!!) in Nevada is contemplating adding male prostitutes to their roster to boost business.

Seeing as how I have a thing for prostitutes, this story immediately caught my eye. These guys would be catering to women, so I have to wonder how successful this might be. But then, considering the ongoing popularity of Chippendale's, you never know. It could make for some delightfully debauched bachelorette parties.

Or for the skanky husbands out there, a way of watching their wives get banged without the messiness of involving the neighbors.

I'm casting no aspersions on Marcus or Casper, it's just they were the first ones that came to mind when I thought of male prostitutes. Which I guess really is casting aspersions of a kind...I prefer to think of it as complimenting their hotness and presumed ease at getting women to sleep with them. Or maybe just my desire to see them as dirty man-whores, which I find very appealing...

Spotlight Eavesdropping...

Since I have little to no excitement in my own life, I have to be scandalous vicariously through scandalous Spotlight patrons...

Overheard: One possible-or-possibly-not hooker complaining about being groped, asserting that he is educated *cut to Ray cracking up*, and that he was insulted that somebody would offer him $20 for further groping. I don't know if he was upset about the groping or the pittance he was being offered. I'm pretty sure I heard him say it was encouraging "whorism"!!! That is SO going to be my new word!

And shockingly, that wasn't the only low-ball offer of the evening.

I can only hope this one persona was joking when he offered RS $1...yes ONE DOLLAR...to flash his penis. The persona doing the offering does have a crazy sense of humor, so I'm going to assume that he was joking.

WEIRDEST COMPLIMENT I EVER HEARD: Dude 1 to Dude 2, "You're very handsome. You look like Brooke Shields in drag." Sit with that.

Beautiful Pictures...

My beer brain prevents me from remembering the name of the bloke that shared these fantastic pictures with me. These were taken by his daughter, who I think needs to be a professional photographer. In awe!

Fuck...

If I go heaving up deviled eggs tonight I am gonna be one pissed off puppy...but Elliott was looking all cute...

How Did I Talk Myself Into This?

So, I've managed to talk myself into making tonight a Spotlight Bar night. Who's in control of this ship anyways? And it's raining even though the sun is partially out. That's freaky! It's like cloudy but sunny and raining.

This has got to be some sort of harbinger of bad shit.

Perhaps to convince me that I should stay in tonight? It's not gonna work! Bring on the hookers and obnoxious drunks!

Spotlight Un-Happenings: Paranoid Edition

Diese beiden Alkoholiker Ron und Roger gaben mir die Evil Eye letzte Nacht in der "Spotlight-Bar". Ich kann nicht glauben, dass die Hündinnen. Get over yourselves, already!

I hate when I have a blackout and can't remember if I kept all my clothing in place...

Dear, Elliott: Thanks so much for the eyeliner pencil, as I was in desperate need of one (I went out last night with no eye makeup on which is HIGHLY unusual for me...) and couldn't find any of the 99cent ones and am way too cheap to buy an eyeliner for more than $1.50.

Genau, warum haben, dass man lieber im Gespräch mit Delores anstelle von mir? war meine stinkenden Atem? Zigarette Atem vielleicht? Fehlen von Augen Make-up?

Fabulous Quote Plus Random Confession...

Ich möchte Sex mit Christopher Fawcett. Er macht mich wollen, interessante Dinge zu ihm.

"Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; truth isn't." -- Mark Twain quote spotted in the Daily News today.

I learned this truth when dealing with the ongoing head-scratcher that is my family.

LA Daily News

I'm The Same Person, It's Just A Different Suit.

Happy Birthday to Marilyn Monroe!

A Weekend Of Upsets!!

The sports world was, I imagine, rocked this weekend by two unthinkable events.

Rafael Nadal's early elimination from the French Open!! This is the King of Clay, Mr French Open we're talking about here. The final set came down to a tie break, where Robin Soderling won 5 back-to-back points against Rafa before eventually going on to win the match. WHAT?! The announcers were totally in a state of shock. Soderling showed great sportsmanship by leaving the court before Rafa and allowing the crowd to give Rafa a champion's appreciation roar.

In the NBA, Cleveland was eliminated from the playoffs by Orlando, which may have actually caused a ripple in the time-space continuum and sent the whole of humanity hurtling into an alternative reality. This has exposed my Lakers duality, where I'm now upset that Kobe's ego won't get squashed by a marauding LeBron but I'm overjoyed that the Lakers will (presumably) have an easier path to the title.

And not an "upset" but still upsetting, Danica Patrick was being interviewed after her 5th place finish in her IndyRace this weekend and as the they were wrapping it up, the interviewer (who was also a woman) says something like not only is she a great driver, but she bakes too. I thought we had transported back to the 50's. I was insulted for Danica.

tégla, ujja és a biztonsági öv

Ezek a képek balra át olyan, hogy én a szándékot, hogy hozzon létre több angyalok és a szentek. Talán ez a hiábavaló fordítást.

No, Really, It's Art...

Here we have a picture of the lovely Rich Harden that I have lusted over for a couple of years (hides face shamefully) converted into something I should use for my wallpaper...

Dumpster Discovery

"I don't ask much from you, girl..."

Christina Crawford's last Mother's Day card to Joan Crawford, which went undelivered. *fiction*

Not Fit For Human Consumption...

...but eating it anyways...

So I'm having the Ralph's brand poptarts this morning and the frosting is disturbingly red. One can only imagine the amounts of artificial coloring and chemicals I am ingesting.

Drawing/Photography/Editing Conglomeration

POTUS

Evil minions spotted flying over Washington DC area...stop...no indication whether donkey or elephant...stop...National Guard mobilized...stop...scramble?...stop...Biden running around yard pointing and whooping...stop...tranquilize?...stop...please advise...stop...

R. Gates.

それMAEF惑星から来た

MAEFとRCカーや踊り洗濯この楽しいビデオで実行してください。

Today's Project...

Since I'm not doing my normal Spotlight Bar thing this morning, I figured I'd eat cherry pie and figure out a way to combine this old photo with one of the pictures of wings to create a new angel for the Jesus blog.

He will of course be a tragic angel, with "sinner" or some nonsense scrawled across his chest...and I will absolutely ignore the fact that, in relation to the body, the wings are backwards.

There's That Twin I Always Wanted!!

Clearly not in the same league as Peter Berlin's double images, but I just discovered how to put one image on top of the other using GIMP...This should be a fun editing tool to play around with!

Jesus And Angels And Saints...Oh My!!

I finally got around to trying out the Picasa Movie Maker. It's pretty snazzy! I'm assuming the song is public domain because I only hear it everywhere...

Some of my drawings set to "Air on the G String" by Bach...

The Big Bang Theory, circa 1978...

Causing me to crack up today was The Intergalactic Bowlcut Battle that was spotted on Sexy People Blog.

I think we can all relate to the unfortunate elementary school pictures...however only a select few ever had to live down a velour Star Trek replica shirt.

Check THIS Shit Out!!!

This is some sick and twisted stuff, but made me laugh my ass off.